How to Resist Sexual Temptation

Sexual temptation is everywhere. The introduction of technology and social media has brought many positive and negative changes. One of the negative impacts is that we face more sexual temptation from what we see online.  Images, videos, and messages bombard us from every direction; it’s nearly impossible to escape seeing things that tempt us.

Christians often try to ignore the issue of sexual temptation, and many want to act as if they are not affected by this struggle. Ignoring the problem will lead to more significant struggles. We must learn to confront and understand sexual temptation; we need to equip ourselves with the tools necessary to navigate a world filled with seduction. Resisting sexual temptation is about gaining control and building healthier relationships with ourselves and others.

Common Examples of Sexual Temptation

1. Adultery: Adultery is the temptation to engage in sexual relations with someone other than one’s spouse.
2. Premarital Sex: premarital sex is the temptation to engage in sex before marriage.
3. Pornography: Pornography is the temptation to view sexually explicit material, which can lead to addiction or unrealistic expectations about sex.
4. Emotional Affairs: Having an emotional affair is developing a deep, intimate connection with someone outside the marriage, which can eventually lead to physical infidelity.

Signs of Sexual Temptation Christians Should Run From

Sexual temptations are subtle; they often come in ways that we overlook. Here are signs of sexual temptations Christians should run from;

1. Inappropriate Fantasies: Inappropriate fantasy is Persistent sexual fantasies about someone other than your spouse or someone you should not be thinking about. These thoughts can shift your focus from your marital commitment and should be addressed immediately.

2. Flirtatious Behaviour: Engaging in or noticing flirtatious behaviour from others or participating in flirtatious interactions yourself is a sign of sexual temptation. Such behaviour can lead to emotional or physical temptation and should be avoided.

3. Private or Secluded Encounters:  Situations where you find yourself alone with someone you are attracted to or may have an interest in you.  Private or secluded settings increase the risk of crossing boundaries and should be avoided.

4. Excessive Emotional Sharing:  Developing deep emotional connections with someone outside your marriage, mainly if these conversations involve personal or intimate topics. Emotional affairs can lead to sexual sins.

5. Exposure to Explicit Content: Regular consumption of sexually explicit material, such as pornography or suggestive media. This exposure can desensitise you and increase the risk of temptation and addiction.

6. Inappropriate Touching: Any physical contact that is more than friendly or professional, especially if it feels intimate or suggestive. It can be an antecedent to more severe temptation.

7. Compromising situations without accountability: finding yourself in situations without accountability or oversight from trusted friends, mentors, or spiritual advisors. Accountability helps to maintain moral and ethical behaviour.

8. Compromised Boundaries: allowing boundaries to be gradually eroded, such as spending more time alone with someone of the opposite sex or engaging in inappropriate conversations. Protecting established boundaries and creating boundaries is crucial to avoiding temptation.

9. Unresolved Conflict with Spouse: regular unresolved issues or conflicts in your marriage or Emotional dissatisfaction or distress in marriage can make individuals more vulnerable to seeking solace or excitement elsewhere.

10. Opportunities for Infidelity: Finding comfort in situations that are opportunities for infidelity, such as business trips, social events, or travel without your spouse. These opportunities can tempt individuals to act on their desires or expose them to seduction.

11. Secretive Behaviour: Exhibiting secretive behaviour regarding communications, locations, or interactions, especially with your spouse; you keep relationships and conversations with specific individuals away from your partner

12. Negative Influences: Being influenced by individuals or groups who promote or normalise sexual immorality. These influences can undermine your commitment to purity and integrity.

13. Excessive Compliments or Attention: Receiving or giving excessive compliments or attention that may cross professional or social boundaries. This can create a false sense of intimacy and lead to temptation.

14. Isolation from Community: Isolating yourself from your faith community or support network. A lack of community support can make you more vulnerable to temptation and less accountable.

15. Privacy and Secrecy Online: Using private or secret online communications, such as encrypted messaging apps, to interact with others in a potentially inappropriate manner. It can be a sign of temptation that you should avoid.

16. Lack of Engagement in Marital Relationship:  Neglecting your spouse’s emotional and physical needs can lead to dissatisfaction and a greater temptation to seek fulfilment elsewhere. Actively working on your marital relationship is crucial.

17. Disregard for Spiritual Convictions: Acting in ways that disregard your spiritual or moral convictions, particularly if you start to justify or rationalise inappropriate behaviour. Such disregard can wear away your commitment to living according to your faith.

5 Biblical Examples of People Who Didn’t Resist Sexual Temptation

Sexual temptation is common, and even the best of us face temptation. The Bible contains stories of men of valour who yielded to temptation.

1. David (2 Samuel 11:1-27)

King David is one of my favourite biblical characters. He was an exemplary man who was steadfast and faithful, and he loved God. His story highlights the importance of not giving up, but his legacy is tainted with falling into sexual temptation.

King David’s story warns about the consequences of yielding to sexual temptation. While his army was at war, David stayed in Jerusalem. One evening, he saw Bathsheba bathing in her bathroom; her beauty tempted him, and he gave in to his desires despite knowing she was married to another man.

David summoned her, leading to an adulterous affair. When Bathsheba became pregnant, David tried to cover his sin by arranging for her husband, Uriah, to be killed in battle. This series of actions brought severe consequences, including turmoil within his family and the death of the child born from this union.

2. Samson (Judges 16:1-21)

Samson, a judge of Israel known for his immense strength, had a weakness for women, particularly Delilah. Samson was Nazarene, who God chose before his birth. God had plans to use him significantly to free the Israelites from oppression. He initially married a philistine woman, which was against God’s instructions for an Israelite.

His relationship with Delilah was ungodly; he wasn’t married to her, but he had an intimate relationship with her. Samson continued his relationship despite multiple warnings and her clear intentions to betray him. Delilah eventually coaxed him into revealing the secret of his strength—his uncut hair. She betrayed him to the Philistines, who captured and blinded him. Samson’s inability to resist Delilah’s seduction led to his downfall and eventual death.

3. Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-13)

King Solomon, known for his wisdom, fell into the trap of sexual temptation through his many marriages to foreign women. God commanded the Israelites against intermarrying with those who worshipped other gods; Solomon took many wives and concubines from surrounding nations.

His marriage to foreign women led him to idolatry, as his wives turned his heart toward other gods. This disobedience angered God and ultimately led to the division of Solomon’s kingdom after his death.

4. Judah (Genesis 38:1-30)

Many people remember Judah as the patriarch whose lineage birthed the messiah. Still, people do not realise that Judah fell into sexual temptation because of his indiscriminate sexual affairs.

He had sexual temptation with his daughter-in-law, Tamar. Tamar, disguised as a prostitute, seduced Judah to secure offspring after being wronged by his family. Judah’s actions revealed his hypocrisy when he condemned Tamar for immorality, only to discover he was the father of her child. This story highlights the consequences of sexual indiscretion and the importance of integrity.

5. The Israelites (Numbers 25:1-9)

Balak became afraid of the Israelites and brought the prophet Balaam to curse them.  His plans didn’t work because Balaam kept declaring blessings upon the Israelites instead of curses. After several failed attempts, Balak decided to lead the Israelites to sin against God by tempting them sexually.

The Israelites engaged in sexual immorality with Moabite women. These relationships led them to worship the Moabite gods, provoking God’s anger. As a result, a plague broke out among the Israelites, and many died. The story illustrates the dangers of succumbing to sexual temptation and the severe repercussions it can have on individuals and communities.

Consequences of Yielding to Sexual Temptation

Yielding to sexual temptation can lead to a range of negative consequences, both spiritually and practically. Here are some of the repercussions:

1. Separation from God: Sin creates a barrier between us and God, leading to a sense of separation and spiritual disconnection.

Isaiah 59:2 – “But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.”

2. Loss of Spiritual Joy and Peace: Guilt and shame from sexual sin can rob an individual of inner peace and joy.

Psalm 32:3-4 – “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.”

3. Damage to Personal Relationships:  Sexual sin can lead to broken trust and strained or destroyed relationships, particularly in marriages and families.

Proverbs 6:32-33 – “But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wiped away.”

4. Emotional and Mental Strain:  Engaging in sexual sin often leads to feelings of regret, anxiety, and emotional turmoil.

– Verse: Psalm 38:18 – “I confess my iniquity; I am troubled by my sin.”

5. Physical Consequences: Sexual immorality can lead to physical health issues, including sexually transmitted diseases.

1 Corinthians 6:18 – “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”

6. Impact on Future Relationships: Past sexual sins can complicate future relationships, causing trust issues and emotional baggage.

Hebrews 13:4 – “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”

7. Loss of Testimony: Yielding to sexual temptation can damage a person’s reputation and hinder their witness to others.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 – “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God.”

8. God’s Discipline: God may discipline those who engage in sexual sin as a way to bring them back to righteousness.

Hebrews 12:6 – “Because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

9. Legal and Social Repercussions: Sexual immorality, especially in the form of adultery or sexual harassment, can lead to legal issues and social disgrace.

Proverbs 5:22 – “The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them; the cords of their sins hold them fast.”

10. Spiritual Weakness: Repeated yielding to temptation can weaken a person’s spiritual resolve and make them more susceptible to further sin.

Galatians 6:7-8 – “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.”

Ways Christians Can Avoid Sexual Temptation

We have established the fact that sexual temptation is common to everyone. We all face temptation, but we must not yield to it. Here are ways Christians can resist sexual temptations:

1. Strengthen Your Relationship with God

A believer’s relationship with God is the foundation of his faith. Developing a deep and personal relationship with God through prayer, Bible study, and worship is essential for survival. Regular spiritual disciplines help to align our desires with God’s will and provide strength and guidance to resist temptation.

2. Study and Memorise Scripture

The Bible offers wisdom and practical advice on resisting temptation. Memorising verses such as 1 Corinthians 10:13 and Psalm 119:9-11 can provide powerful reminders of God’s promises, caution and commandments in moments of temptation. Regularly studying the bible and memorising the word is like saving money for times of distress.

3. Maintain Accountability

The Devil doesn’t like accountability. He knows that accountability means you will caution yourself because you have to give account of the things you do. Surround yourself with a community of believers who can provide support, encouragement, and accountability. Confide in a trusted friend, mentor, or pastor who can pray for you and help keep you accountable in your commitment to purity.

4. Set Clear Boundaries

In my previous article about setting boundaries in relationships, I explained how boundaries prevent falling into avoidable errors like sexual sin and infatuation. We must Establish and maintain clear physical and emotional boundaries in relationships.

Avoid situations that may lead to temptation, such as being alone with someone of the opposite sex in a private setting or engaging in conversations that could become flirtatious or inappropriate. It is more important to set boundaries when you develop feelings of love or lust for the other person or if they are interested in you.

5. Focus on Holiness

It is impossible to please God without holiness. Make a conscious effort to pursue holiness in all areas of life. This includes being mindful of the media you consume, the conversations you engage in, and the company you keep. Philippians 4:8 encourages believers to think about true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable things.

6. Practice Self-Control

The Bible emphasises that a man without self-control is like a city without walls. Having self-control and taming our desires is key to resisting temptation. We can achieve self-control through spiritual disciplines like fasting, prayer, and meditation. Galatians 5:22-23 lists self-control as a fruit of the Spirit, emphasising its importance in the Christians’ life.

7. Avoid Triggers

We all have sexual triggers that lead to sexual temptation. This could include certain websites, social media platforms, places, or even specific people. Being proactive in avoiding these triggers can help you stay on the path of purity.

8. Cultivate Healthy Relationships

Build healthy, Christ-centered relationships that nurture spiritual growth and mutual respect. Surround yourself with friends and mentors who uphold similar values and can encourage you in your walk with Christ.

9. Seek Professional Help

It is crucial to seek professional help If sexual temptation is overwhelming or has led to addictive behaviours.  Seeking help from a Christian counsellor or therapist can be beneficial. Professional guidance can provide strategies and support to overcome deep-seated temptation-related issues.

10. Reflect on the Consequences

Stories from the bible serve as a reminder of the consequences of falling into sexual temptation. David lost his son and committed murder, while Samson lost his honour and his life due to sexual sin. Consider the spiritual, emotional, and relational consequences of yielding to sexual temptation. Reflecting on the potential harm to yourself and others can strengthen your resolve to remain pure.

11. Stay Busy with Positive Activities

Engage in positive, fulfilling activities that occupy your mind and time. Volunteer, pursue hobbies, exercise, watch godly movies and participate in church activities to keep yourself focused on productive and enriching pursuits.

12. Pray for Strength

God has promised to help us in moments of weakness so temptations will not overcome us; continually ask God for strength and wisdom to resist temptation. Prayer is a powerful tool that can provide divine assistance in moments of weakness. Jesus taught his disciples to pray, “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil” (Matthew 6:13). Remember, God’s strength is made perfect in our weaknesses.

13. Confess and Repent

If you fall into temptation, confess your sins to God and repent. 1 John 1:9 assures believers that God is faithful, forgiving our sins and purifying us from all unrighteousness. Repentance restores your relationship with God and renews your commitment to purity.

14. Cultivate a Heart of Gratitude

Develop a heart of gratitude for God’s blessings and His guidance. When we focus on what we have and are grateful to God, we channel our energy positively. Focusing on what you have and being thankful can reduce dissatisfaction that may lead to seeking fulfilment inappropriately.

15. Educate Yourself

The Bible admonishes us not to be ignorant of the devices of the enemy. Educating yourself on God’s design for sexuality can reinforce your commitment to living according to His principles. Read books that can help you solidify your resolve to resist sexual temptations.

10 Reasons Why It Is Hard to Resist Sexual Temptations

Sexual temptation is one of the most common struggles in the present generation. The more young people are enticed to join the trend of immorality, and the future is looking bleak. I remember struggling with my sexual drive as a teenager; I often prayed to God, asking him to take away the urge so that I wouldn’t have to struggle with it anymore. As I grew older, I realised why it was difficult to resist sexual temptation.

1. Biological Drive

Human beings have a natural, biological drive for sex. God put the drive in us so we can have a beautiful experience in marriage. This original urge is powerful because it’s essential for the species’ survival. Hormonal changes, particularly those involving testosterone and oestrogen, can significantly influence sexual desire, making it challenging to resist temptation.

2. Cultural and Media Influence

Modern culture and media are saturated with sexual imagery and messages. Advertisements, movies, television shows, and social media often portray sex in a glamorous and enticing way, constantly exposing individuals to sexual stimuli and normalising sexual behaviour outside of committed relationships.

3. Emotional Vulnerability

Emotional states such as loneliness, stress, and depression can heighten the temptation to seek comfort in sexual activities. The desire for intimacy and connection, especially during times of emotional vulnerability, can lead individuals to engage in sexual behaviour as a coping mechanism.

4. Peer Pressure

Social circles and peer pressure can play a significant role in influencing sexual behaviour. Friends or partners may encourage or even expect sexual activity, making it difficult for individuals to uphold their boundaries and resist temptation.

5. Lack of Self-Control

Resisting sexual temptation requires a high degree of self-control and discipline. Many people struggle with self-control, particularly in the face of strong desires and immediate gratification, making it challenging to adhere to their values and long-term goals.

6. Availability and Accessibility

The availability and accessibility of sexually explicit material, such as pornography, make it easy for individuals to succumb to sexual temptation. The internet provides instant access to a vast array of sexual content, which can be difficult to resist, especially when it’s readily available in the privacy of one’s home.

7. Normalisation of Casual Sex

Casual sex has become a norm in our society; movies portray scenes where people have casual sex with each other, parting ways afterwards. When casual sex is portrayed as a common and acceptable practice, individuals may feel less compelled to resist sexual temptation and more likely to engage in such behaviour.

8. Psychological Factors

Certain psychological factors, such as low self-esteem, past trauma, or addiction, can make resisting sexual temptation particularly challenging. These factors can create a cycle of behaviour where individuals use sex as a means of validation or escape.

9. Relationship Dynamics

In relationships, sexual desires and expectations can create pressure. I often tell single people that it is expected to have a desire to have sex with someone you are dating; this is not a sin. It becomes a sin when you give in to your desires. In marriages, Partners may have different levels of sexual desire, leading to conflicts and temptations to seek satisfaction elsewhere. Maintaining sexual integrity requires constant communication and mutual understanding, which can be challenging to achieve.

10. Spiritual Struggles

For many, resisting sexual temptation is not only a physical or emotional challenge but also a spiritual one. Spiritual struggles, such as a weak connection to God or doubts about religious teachings, can make it harder to adhere to spiritual guidelines regarding sexual behaviour. Strengthening one’s spiritual foundation is often necessary to resist temptation effectively.

Final Thoughts

We must always remember that we will be tempted but we have a responsibility not to give up.