Originally posted on February 9, 2022 @ 9:41 am

A toxic relationship is a relationship in which one or both parties do not communicate or relate easily. In this kind of relationship, there is always someone who undermines, disrespect, and subdue the other person’s opinion. The ties tend to be one-sided. One person calls the shot while the other obeys. 

A toxic relationship is mentally challenging, and it drains emotional energy. The subdued partner is usually afraid, which affects every other area of their lives. A toxic relationship is not limited to marriage or a love relationship. All other forms of relationships can skew to be unhealthy if not correctly handled.

Signs of Toxic Relationship

1. Fear of your partner/friends/colleague/family
2. Constant Negativity 
3. You give more than you ever get from the relationship
4. Reduced mental and emotional capacity
5. You can’t speak freely
6. You start developing low self-esteem
7. You always take the blame
8. Envy or jealousy 

The signs above are usually evident in a toxic relationship, but both partners often ignore or overlook it.

Fear of Your Partner/Friend/Colleague/Family

Our relationships should form out of respect for each other. When fear is the foundation of a relationship, it is unhealthy for both partners. When you are constantly afraid in a relationship, it is unhealthy. 

Constant Negativity

I remember having a friend who was always seeing the wrong things I did at one point in my life. The constant negative comment affected me, and I was trying to change myself until it was clear that the problem wasn’t me. People who never see the good in you are not supposed to be in your life. There is room for corrections, but negativity and attacking your personality shouldn’t be allowed. 

You Give More Than You Get

Nothing is emotionally draining than giving without receiving. At one point, you tend to feel empty and frustrated. A relationship should be mutual. You should gain as much value, energy and love you give. 

Reduced Mental and Emotional Capacity

We are all blessed with one given capacity or the other. A relationship where you don’t use your strength but you’re losing your intellectual and mental ability is unhealthy.

You Can’t Speak Freely.

In our nations, freedom of speech and expression is one of the key ingredients in building a better place. A country or relationship where freedom of expression isn’t allowed is unhealthy. Constant inability to express oneself is harmful.

You Start Developing Low Self Esteem

Low self-esteem is a thief of the future. When I suffered from low self-esteem, I couldn’t do anything for myself. When you constantly have negative thoughts about yourself due to comments from someone, that relationship isn’t good for you.

You Always Take the Blame

Relationships where one is always right and the other is always wrong is unhealthy. No one is perfect, and everyone has a flaw. When you receive blames in a relationship, that person doesn’t deserve you.

Envy/Jealousy

Jealousy is cancer that spreads like wildfire if not given proper attention. A relationship where your partner is always envious of your achievement is unhealthy. Jealousy is a powerful emotion, and it doesn’t mind destroying the other person. 

These signs are something to watch out for in a relationship. They are red flags that show that such relationships are a danger zone. We must note these red flags, and once we see it evident in our relationships, that relationship should expire.  

Toxic relationships are negative energy; they affect both victims’ physical and mental health; the best bet is to leave a toxic relationship behind. How to leave a toxic relationship is not far-fetched. It only takes determination and guidance to follow through.

I once heard a story of a woman in an abusive relationship. Her husband beats her and punishes her in inhumane ways. Eventually, she could break free from the unhealthy relationship, but she had suffered.

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How to Leave A Toxic Relationship

• Accept that you’re in a toxic relationship
• Seek help
• Put your finances in order
• Observe patterns
• Make friends with positive people
• Value yourself
• Speak up
• Dialogue

 Accept that you’re In a Toxic Relationship

No one ever gets free without admitting their need for freedom. The first step to freedom is to acknowledge you are a victim of a toxic relationship. The problem is half solved, and You don’t have to feel guilty. 

 Seek Help

We are sometimes afraid to open our hearts to people because we don’t want them to judge us. Any one of us can fall victim to circumstances. It is essential to seek help. Get a counsellor or a mental health coach if you aren’t comfortable speaking to someone you know. It will help you to be firm and fierce with your decision.

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 Put Your Finances in Order

Finance, yes, finance. A lot of us stay in unhealthy relationships because of financial reasons. Employees stay with toxic bosses to meet ends, and wives stay with toxic husbands because they cannot afford the move. Plan your finances ahead of this move. 

If you live with a toxic partner, you need to move out into your apartment, which means you pay the bills and other dues. Put your finances in order.

 Observe Patterns

Observe events that made the relationship toxic. It is more important if you have been a victim more than once. Look inward and pinpoint what makes you a target for such relationships.

 Make Friends with Positive People

Negative and positive energy are contagious. The kind of people we surround ourselves with directly influences our thoughts. Make new friends with positive people, especially those who have positive affirmations about you.

 Value Yourself

You are as precious as the value you place on yourself. See yourself as valuable and indispensable. Believe in your capacity and what you can achieve.

You can only value yourself if you have discovered your hidden potentials and abilities. Try out my 10 days self discovery challenge.

 Speak Up

Speak up for yourself. Be firm, and don’t be silenced. Try to speak up firmly, not in anger or rudely. Let the other person know you have a mind of your own. Don’t be swayed by your emotions. Stand your ground and speak up for yourself.

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Dialogue

Dialogue is an essential step to freedom. Let your partner know how you feel. Some toxic partners are the way they are because of negative experiences. They never healed, and they only transferred their aggression to unsuspecting people. 

No one deserves to be in a toxic relationship. Victims of toxic relationships are not specific to any gender. Even children can be in an unhealthy relationship with their parents. We don’t have to wait until we are in a toxic relationship before knowing the signs of a toxic relationship and how to leave a toxic relationship.