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10 Topics to Discuss in a Relationship

Topics to Discuss in a Relationship

August 31, 2021

Love is a strong force that brings people together. It melts your heart and makes you responsive to your partner. Love is an essential ingredient in keeping a great marriage. Having a wonderful marital life starts from the things you both value and appreciate. When lovers are in a relationship, the feeling that love is all you need is overwhelming.

Nothing else seems to matter to both partners until they get married and reality sets in. It is essential to have some crucial discussions when you’re in a relationship. These discussions are vital because they are pointers to the compatibility of both partners. I’ve created a list of 10 topics to discuss in a relationship . Enjoy the article as you read along.

 “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

 —Robert A. Heinlein

Topics to Discuss in a Relationship

  • Finance
  • Number of children and family planning
  • How to raise children
  • Career and future plans
  • Relationship with family members
  • Spiritual Beliefs
  • your past
  • Mentorship
  • Sex
  • Wedding


love is tested when there is financial turbulence. Photo Credit: Pexels

Finance is a discussion you should have before marriage. It is a crucial topic because it influences a lot of decisions you will make in your marriage. You’ll be surprised at how different your thoughts are when it comes to your finances. Some people go into marriage thinking they have control over how their partners spend money. Some assume their partner will meet their needs. 

Talk about keeping joint or separate accounts. Talk about how much you earn, how much goes into what etc. . if you have debt, please talk about it. Handling debt is often an underrated discussion, but they reveal a lot about our thought patterns and comparability. Think about other issues relating to finance that bothers you and discuss it. Finance is one of the most important topics to discuss in a relationship.

The number of children and family planning

 I’m sure you’re wondering why you should have this discussion. I used to know a couple who had serious issues because of this. The husband wanted four children, while the wife wished to have two. Talk about the number of children you want. Talk about child spacing and contraception. Some people don’t believe in contraceptives.

Freely discuss what happens if you have a delay in childbirth. Are you open to the adoption of children? Do you want to have children immediately after you get married, or do you want to wait for a while? Discuss these issues freely. Discuss how you want your children to be born. Some women marry men before they realize he never wants his wife to undergo a caesarean section.

How to raise children

Children are like clay. They are a reflection of your character. Raising children is an issue that causes differences in marriages. The wife may be strict while the husband believes in letting children have freedom. 

Discuss how you feel you should raise children. Are you comfortable allowing them to go on holiday elsewhere? Do you believe in sending children to boarding houses? Dressing, Education, Healthcare, etc.  

Career / Future plans

Marriage can be a burden when couples go in opposite directions. Therefore before you go into a relationship, have plans for your life. You and your partners should discuss this and see how you can fit into each other’s goals.

Your plan is a crucial discussion. Some marriages are destroyed because they never had this discussion. Some women work shifts that some men find uncomfortable. Some men work in a sector with lots of women, and some wives can’t tolerate this. Talk about individual plans and try as much as possible to read in between the lines.

it is important to discuss what you what for the future. Things may not turn out exactly but a plan is easy to follow. Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

Relationship with Family Members

Relationship with family is necessary; our families are an integral part of our lives. We are connected to our families with a firm bond. Even though we need our families, it is essential to understand that you’re forming a relationship with someone who has a different family. It means your partner has other beliefs and ideology about how a family should run. Talk about family limits. How much is too much when they interfere. How will you handle family responsibilities? How much information they’ll have about your marriage. Holidays with parents, especially if they stay far away.

Spiritual Beliefs

It is more important to have this discussion if you have a different spiritual background. Religion affects how we perceive things; it makes this discussion necessary. 

Your Past

I’ve heard people say words like, “if I tell him/her my past, she/he won’t marry me.” If they don’t want to marry you, please let them go. Past mistakes can confront you at any time. It is more challenging to deal with such revelations when your partner is unaware. It can be difficult to discuss but spill the beans. 

Villains from their past have blackmailed people. They sometimes become enslaved by fear. Some people have even committed suicide when they couldn’t deal with a sudden revelation of their history. It is easy to deal with the world when your partner is firmly against you.

Discuss Mentorship

Everyone has a role model. We all look up to someone. Some agree with being mentored, while some do not. Mentoring is necessary when it comes to receiving counseling. 

Sometimes in marriage, things may not just work as you presumed. This is why you should talk about your willingness to see a counsellor. Agree on who you both want as a mentor for your marriage. Every marriage has its storms. Make sure it is someone you are both comfortable with and choose prayerfully.


I’m sure someone is wondering why this is needed. You may not be having sex now but discuss it. Even though you’re single, you know how often you feel the urge for sex. This discussion is even more critical if any partner has had sexual experiences. Imagine if a partner wants oral sex while the other detests it? Such marriage will have ups and downs.

Wedding Plans

Talk about wedding plans before you choose a date. Things like: how much do we spend, how many guests, type of wedding, etc. you can discuss it when the relationship is heading to marriage. Some couples start wedding plans before they discover how extravagant their partners are. Some men marry their wives with bitterness and anger in their hearts. 

Some people spend so much on their weddings, and they start paying off debt from the beginning of their marriage. Openly discuss this issue. This is another important topic to discuss in a relationship.

Marriage is a journey that, when started correctly, the destination is desirable and pleasing. I hope you were able to learn from this article.

If you enjoyed this article, please read my other posts here



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