A lot of single people usually assume they will not face sexual temptations when they get married. I used to think this way; so, it is not surprising. Married couples face as much temptation as singles. Resisting sexual temptation is more difficult for people who lack self-control before marriage or those who engaged in masturbation, pornography or other forms of sexual addictions.
This article explores reasons why couples face sexual temptation, how married couples can resist sexual temptations and what couples can do if they fall into sexual sin.
In this article
Why do married couples face sexual temptation?
1. Familiarity with your partner
The excitement and freshness of a marriage can fade, leading to routine and predictability. When familiarity sets in, couples no longer feel the excitement of marriage like before, potentially making external attractions more tempting as they seek excitement elsewhere.
2. Unresolved Conflicts
Ongoing conflicts and unresolved issues can create emotional distance and resentment between couples. This lack of emotional intimacy can lead individuals to seek comfort, understanding, and validation from someone outside the marriage.
3. Emotional and Physical Neglect
When one or both partners feel neglected emotionally or physically, they may become more vulnerable to temptation. Lack of attention, affection, and sexual fulfillment can drive a spouse to seek these needs elsewhere.
4. Exposure to Temptation
Exposure to pervasive sexual content in this era of social media can tempt couples. Social media, online dating platforms, and explicit content are easily accessible, increasing the chances of encountering temptation. Work environments and social circles can also present opportunities for inappropriate relationships.
5. Stress and Life Pressures
High-stress levels from work, financial issues, or family responsibilities can take a toll on a marriage. Under stress, individuals may seek relief or escape through extramarital relationships, viewing them as a temporary distraction or solace.
6. Poor Communication
Lack of open and honest communication can lead to misunderstandings and unmet needs. When couples don’t discuss their desires, frustrations, or issues, it creates a gap. Effective communication between couples can help to prevent falling into sexual sin.
7. Past Experiences and Insecurities
Carrying emotional baggage from past experiences or relationships can expose one to temptation. Issues like insecurities can affect self-esteem and ability to fully commit to their spouse, making partners more susceptible to external validation and temptation.
8. Societal and Cultural Influences
Whenever I stumble upon social media debates where many netizens express their views and opinions on marital fidelity, I am shocked by what I read. In the African culture where polygamy is allowed, many men are not faithful to their partners, which has crept into the church, and many young people want to trail this path.
9. Sexual Dissatisfaction
Sexual frustration because of differences in sexual desire, performance, or satisfaction can lead to frustration and temptation. If spouses are not meeting each other’s sexual needs or if there is a lack of sexual compatibility, one or both partners may seek satisfaction elsewhere.
10. Weak Spiritual connection with God
A weak spiritual foundation or disconnect with God can leave couples vulnerable to temptation. In my article about things to discuss before marriage, I emphasized the importance of discussing your faith, sexual preferences and spiritual beliefs before marriage.
11. Opportunities and Tempting Situations
Partners who travel frequently for work trips and social events can become exposed to tempting situations. Spending time alone with colleagues or acquaintances in informal settings can lead to inappropriate closeness and eventual infidelity.
12. Midlife Crises and Identity Issues
During midlife, individuals may experience identity, purpose, or self-worth crises. This period of self-reflection can lead to impulsive decisions, including seeking extramarital relationships to recapture youth or excitement.
13. Attraction to Others
It’s natural to find others attractive, even when married. While some people can acknowledge attraction without acting on it, some may struggle to resist, especially if they perceive their marriage as lacking in some way.
14. Unmet Emotional Needs
Unmet emotional needs such as love, respect, appreciation, and companionship within the marriage may cause individuals to seek these affirmations from someone else. Emotional affairs often start this way, eventually leading to physical infidelity.
15. Boredom and Stagnation
Monotony in marriage can lead to boredom. When couples stop growing together and allow their relationship to stagnate, the excitement of new, illicit relationships can seem appealing.
Remember the story of David, he was anointed by God yet he succumbed to sexual temptation. He had more than one wife but Bathsheba still looked pleasing to him. He eventually had to commit murder to cover his sin but God sees all we do in secret. This single act resulted in losing three children and facing multiple threat.
Adelekan Bolanle
Don’t fall into temptation!
Consequences of Yielding to Sexual Sin in Marriage
Yielding to sexual temptation can have devastating consequences for both partners and the relationship as a whole. Here are some of the consequences of infidelity or yielding to sexual temptations in marriage:
1. Betrayal of Trust
Infidelity breaks the trust that is foundational to a marriage’s survival. Rebuilding trust can be extremely difficult and may take a long time. Its Impacts include Trust issues, constant suspicion, and emotional distance between partners.
2. Emotional Pain and Trauma
The betrayed spouse often experiences deep emotional pain, trauma, and a sense of betrayal, which can affect their mental health and physical wellness. Emotional pain can lead to Feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, depression, and difficulty in forgiving the offending partner.
3. Damage to Intimacy
Sexual infidelity damages the emotional and physical intimacy that bonds a married couple. It often leads to Decreased affection, lack of sexual desire, and discomfort in physical closeness. Fear of contracting sexually transmitted diseases can create more distance and ultimately damage sexual intimacy.
4. Breakdown of Communication
Infidelity often leads to a breakdown in communication, misunderstandings, arguments, and further emotional distancing. Partners find it hard to talk openly and honestly when there is infidelity in a marriage.
5. Potential for Divorce
Many marriages do not survive the aftermath of infidelity, leading to separation or divorce with repercussions like Legal battles, division of assets, and significant emotional and financial strain.
6. Effect on Children
Children are deeply affected by the instability and conflict resulting from infidelity. Children are usually at the receiving end of the struggle; they may become troubled or damaged by the effect of the betrayal, leading to lifelong emotional struggles.
7. Spiritual Consequences
God repels the immoral. He wants us to keep the marriage bed undefiled. Infidelity and sexual promiscuity separate us from God, causing a spiritual divide.
8. Social Repercussions
Infidelity can lead to social stigma and judgment from friends, family, and the community. It leads to Isolation, loss of friendships, and a damaged reputation.
9. Legal Consequences
In some jurisdictions, infidelity can impact divorce proceedings, including the division of assets and custody arrangements.
10. Emotional Turmoil for the Offending Partner
The partner who committed infidelity may experience guilt, shame, regret, Emotional distress, mental health issues, and difficulty in forgiving oneself.
Yielding to sexual temptation can lead to a multitude of severe and extensive consequences.
The first characteristic of sexual sin is deceit. It never delivers what it promises. It offers great satisfaction but gives great disappointment. It claims to be real living but is really the way to death.
What to Do If You Fall into Sexual Temptation?
It is hard to imagine falling into sexual sin, but what can believers do when they fall into sexual temptation?
Falling into sexual temptation can be distressing; it is even more depressing to navigate the repercussions of falling into temptation. Situations like this often require a careful and thoughtful approach to prevent it from degenerating. Here are steps to take if you find yourself struggling with or having succumbed to sexual temptation:
1. Own Up to Your Actions
It is vital to admit you have made a mistake and being willing to admit your errors is the first step. Denying your fault or passing blame will only make matters worse. Reflect honestly, assess what led you to fall into temptation and understand the circumstances or choices that contributed.
2. Seek Forgiveness
Seek forgiveness from God with a sincere heart and ask for forgiveness. Confession is vital to restoring your relationship with God and cleansing your conscience. Request God’s help to overcome guilt and shame and rebuild your resolve against future temptation.
3. Repent and Make Amends
Genuine repentance involves turning away from sinful behavior and committing to change. It means changing your actions and mindset after you have sought forgiveness from God. If your actions have affected others, such as your spouse or a close relationship, strive to make amends and address the harm caused.
4. Confide in a Trusted Advisor
Speak with a spiritual mentor, pastor, or counselor who can provide guidance, support, and accountability. You can join a group that focuses on overcoming temptation and maintaining integrity, which can offer encouragement and practical strategies.
5. Rebuild Your Relationships
If your actions have impacted your partner or loved ones, have an open and honest conversation about what happened and work on rebuilding trust. Divert your attention to Focus on strengthening your relationship through communication, affection, and shared activities.
6. Implement Safeguards by setting boundaries
Set clear personal and relational boundaries to prevent future temptation. This might include avoiding certain people or situations. Implement accountability measures, such as internet filters, accountability partners, or apps designed to help maintain integrity.
7. Reflect on your error and Learn
Identify what triggers your temptation and develop strategies to avoid or manage these triggers. Use this experience as a learning opportunity to understand your vulnerabilities and how to protect yourself in the future.
8. Focus on Spiritual Growth
Increase your engagement with spiritual practices such as prayer, Bible study, and worship to strengthen your faith and resolve. Embrace spiritual renewal through worship, meditation, and fellowship to enhance your commitment to living a righteous life.
9. Forgive Yourself
Forgive yourself and understand that everyone makes mistakes. Addressing and correcting your actions is essential, practice self-forgiveness and moving forward with a renewed focus. Avoid self-destructive behavior or excessive guilt. Instead, channel your energy into positive and constructive actions like building trust with your partner and self-improvement.
10. Commit yourself to Positive Change
Set actionable personal and spiritual growth goals, including developing healthier habits or engaging in activities that align with the Christian faith. Continue to seek accountability and support to help maintain your commitment to positive change and avoid future temptation.
How can married couples resist temptations?
Resisting sexual temptation in marriage requires intentional effort, mutual support, and a strong foundation in the word of God.
1. Strengthen Your Spiritual Foundation Together
Regularly pray together and individually, study the Bible, and attend church services to grow spiritually as a couple. Sharing your faith journey strengthens your connection and determination to uphold your marital vows. A family that is spiritually connected stays together.
2. Prioritize Your Marriage
Investing time and effort into nurturing your marriage helps prevent temptation. Regular date nights, open communication, and shared activities help maintain a strong bond, reducing the appeal of external temptations.
3. Maintain Transparency and Trust
Open and honest communication is vital. Share your struggles, temptations, and concerns. Transparency builds trust and creates a supportive environment where you can address issues together. Be willing to support your partners when they are transparent and sincere about their struggles.
4. Set Boundaries with Others
Establish boundaries with friends, colleagues, and acquaintances to protect your marriage. Avoid situations leading to inappropriate closeness or emotional connections with someone outside your marriage.
5. Guard Your Heart and Mind
Be mindful of the media you consume and the company you keep. Avoid content and environments that might spark lustful thoughts or inappropriate desires. Focus on what is pure, lovely, and admirable (Philippians 4:8).
6. Cultivate Emotional Intimacy
Emotional intimacy is as important as physical intimacy in a marriage. Share your thoughts, feelings, dreams, and fears with each other. Emotional closeness strengthens your bond and reduces the risk of seeking emotional fulfillment elsewhere.
7. Be Proactive in Addressing Issues
Address marital issues promptly and constructively. Unresolved conflicts and dissatisfaction can make you more vulnerable to temptation. Seek counseling if needed to work through deeper issues.
8. Healthy Sexual Relationship
A satisfying sexual relationship within marriage helps reduce the temptation to seek fulfillment elsewhere. Communicate your needs and desires openly, and try to be attentive and responsive to each other.
9. Practice Self-Control and Discipline
Develop self-control through spiritual disciplines like prayer and fasting. Self-discipline helps you resist not only sexual temptations but also other impulses that could harm your marriage.
10. Seek Accountability
Consider having accountability partners or mentors—trusted individuals who can offer guidance, support, and prayer. Accountability provides an additional layer of protection against temptation.
11. Remember Your Vows
Regularly remind yourselves of your vows to each other and God. Reflecting on your commitment can reinforce your dedication to remaining faithful and resisting temptation.
12. Focus on Gratitude
Cultivate a habit of gratitude for your spouse and your marriage. Express appreciation for each other regularly. Focusing on the positives helps diminish dissatisfaction and reduces the lure of external temptations.
13. Avoid Comparisons
Avoid comparing your marriage or spouse to others. Comparisons can lead to unrealistic expectations and discontentment. Focus on the unique strengths and qualities of your relationship. There is no relationship without its flaws.
14. Protect Your Emotional Energy
Be cautious about how you invest your emotional energy. Developing deep, platonic relationships with the opposite sex can sometimes lead to emotional affairs. Reserve your emotional intimacy for your spouse.
15. Use Technology Wisely
Monitor and limit your use of technology to avoid exposure to inappropriate content or interactions. Use filters, accountability software, and other tools to help safeguard your online behavior.
16. Invest in Your Personal Growth
Continue to grow individually in your faith, career, and personal interests. A fulfilled and content individual is less likely to seek inappropriate satisfaction outside the marriage.
17. Pray for Each Other
Regularly pray for each other’s spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being. Prayer strengthens your spiritual bond and provides divine support in resisting temptation. Make it a duty to pray for your husband or wife daily.
18. Recognize the Consequences
Reflect on the potential consequences of yielding to temptation, such as the effect on your spouse, family, children and spiritual life. Understanding the gravity of the consequences can strengthen your resolve to resist.
19. Celebrate Your Marriage
Celebrate your relationship milestones and achievements. Acknowledge and appreciate the journey you have taken together, reinforcing the value and importance of your marriage.
20. Seek Help When Needed
If you or your spouse struggle with persistent temptations or infidelity, seek professional counseling or pastoral support. Addressing issues early with professional help can prevent further harm to your marriage.
Final Thoughts
Sexual temptation is common, many christian struggles with various forms of sexual temptation that come their way. Always remember that you are not alone, seek help before your flesh have its way.
