Life happens to everyone. Situations that are beyond our control is the real test of our resilience. Building resilence is essential. We have to be prepared for life challenges, facing them head-on. This post helps to understand how to build resilience. I shared the unexpected life challenge that helped me realise the importance of a resilient attitude.

According to the oxford advanced learners dictionary, “resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties or toughness”. It is the ability to come out of challenges stronger and not broken. Often, we have to face unexpected life challenges, which makes life seem uncertain. We can only try to build a resilient spirit on days like this, giving it all it takes.

I believe no one can achieve success without having a resilient spirit. From the moment we are born, we have to make an effort to reach the different developmental milestones. While learning to walk, we fall many times, but with a strong spirit, everything falls into place. I remember when my daughter was trying to walk, she had a lot of falls. Sometimes, I got scared whenever she fell, but she never gave up. I’m happy she didn’t give up when I look at her now.

A resilient spirit is built over time. It takes a conscious effort to succeed eventually. However, some barriers make building resilience a little complicated. It is essential to overcome these challenges.

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Barriers to Building Resilience

It is very easy to become complacent in this part of the world where I stay. Many issues come up that make it discouraging to fight for the future. These are barriers to building resilience. We must overcome these barriers to have a true resilient nature. Some of these barriers include:

• Having long term health or physical issue
• Mental health issue
• Loneliness
• Humiliating or negative experiences
• Social issues

“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you’ve lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that’s good.”

 Elizabeth Edwards

Having long term health or physical issue

Our body is an integral part of our being. Our health plays a vital role in how far we are willing to go. Health challenges or physical disabilities affect our fighting spirit. A person without a disability may find it easier to study to get a degree. In contrast, someone with a health issue or disability may find it difficult to chase their dream. Recent events have proven that health issues of disability are not a barrier. It is only the state of mind.

I love watching the Paralympics because it challenges me to improve and put up a fight. When I see the athlete’s courageous display, I’m reminded that life would only reward those who are resilient and robust in the face of difficulties.

Mental Health Issues

Mental health awareness is now gaining more ground these days. The state of a man’s mental health decides the direction of his life. I have been in situations where I couldn’t make the right decisions because of the state of my mental health. I can confidently say from experience that “nothing is worth your mental stability”.

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Loneliness

          Loneliness is a feeling of sadness because of lack o companionship. We all love the feeling of being needed. Living life alone is sometimes traumatic and can even lead to depression. Loneliness and depression are families. Being lonely makes you counterproductive. It allows an easy flow of negative emotions, which doesn’t encourage a resilient spirit.

Humiliating or Negative Experiences

Over the years, I have learnt to understand people by trying to understand their experiences. I have realised that people behave in specific ways because of their backgrounds and previous life experiences. A lady who was raped may find it challenging to be around men. It is not her fault; her negative life experience is why she made this decision. If a boss humiliates his staff regularly, it will cause tensions in the workplace which may douse the resilient spirit of the organisation. Everyone tries to play it safe rather than take up challenges. (How to build your self esteem)

How to Build Resilence

The way to resilience is a thorny road. Determination is a crucial character. There will always be challenges, but you have to give everything to build resilence. Some of the things I think you can do to make a resilient spirit include the following:

• Accept that change is inevitable.
• Make up your mind to see positivity in life
• Count your blessings
• Make Lifestyle Changes

Accept that change is inevitable.

The only constant thing in life is change. We do not have control over the changes in our lives, but we can determine the eventual result of the change. The COVID-19 pandemic was one change no one expected. The world wasn’t prepared for the pandemic. The effect of the pandemic strained many countries, and the most beautiful outcome is; we survived it.

Personally, the pandemic changed my life. I started seeing life in a different light. I was pregnant and not earning a salary at some point because I wasn’t going to work. In the harsh reality, I started this blog. It diverted my attention, and I was able to overcome the negative thoughts that dominated my mind. I am so grateful I never gave up. Writing has become my hoppy, and I have come a long way.

Make up your mind to see positivity in life.

Life is indeed unpredictable, and our response to situations can be unexpected. It is crucial to have a positive approach to issues. A positive mindset is essential in building a resilient spirit. See life challenges in a positive light. Please don’t allow anyone to transfer their negativity to you. Counter every negative energy with positivity.

Count your blessings

We sometimes stop living because we do not value the beautiful moments. There is something to be grateful for always. We may be faced with overwhelming challenges, but being grateful makes challenges look inconsequential. A thankful heart sees difficulties as a bad dream that will go away. When you feel like giving up, think about the things working well in your life. Are you in a toxic relationship? Pull yourself together and stand up for yourself.

Don’t feel as if you are alone, be grateful you have the opportunity to free yourself ad make the right decisions about your life. Are you going through a dire financial crisis? Be thankful you have life, appreciate yourself and allow your heart to be filled with gratitude for the things working well in your life.

Make Lifestyle Changes

 lifestyle changes are necessary for building a resilient and robust spirit. Starting from your association, what you eat, where you live, what you wear. Our lifestyle plays a prominent role in how we respond to issues. Something as little as changing your look and fashion statements can help build your confidence. The kind of friends and relationships we have determines the state of our mind. Friendship with positive and resilient friends helps to create a resilient spirit. To be sure you have the right people around you, it is essential to understand relationships and how to build relationships.

Let me tell you a story that resonates resilience to me

When I was pregnant with my first daughter, it was a rough time for me. I was on complete bed rest for about three months due to my medical advice. I have suffered multiple miscarriages before that pregnancy. It was vital for me to try my very best to ensure this pregnancy doesn’t end in a miscarriage. I am not someone who likes sitting idly. I love being able to do whatever I want to do whenever I want to. It was a difficult time, but I built resilience and didn’t give in to the temptation to disregard the advice.

 My companion was my phone, my bible, and the book supernatural childbirth that I kept reading. When the pregnancy was three months, I started doing chores to keep my mind active. I was always home except on days when I went for the doctor’s appointment. I carried the pregnancy till the 9th month, and I was delivered a beautiful baby girl. The joy in my heart could not be measured when I held her for the first time. I was delighted and grateful to God for the opportunity to bear my child.

When I look back at this time, I’m proud of myself, and it reminds me of the importance of resilience. I saw myself almost giving up because that was my fourth pregnancy. At some point, I concluded that I might not carry the child with some of the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy. Even in my doubt, I kept keeping the faith alive. I decided not to give up, and I never allowed events around me to come in the way of the joy I’d receive at the later end.

End Note

I decided to share this story to motivate you. Life doesn’t give us what we want; we have to create opportunities to have the kind of life. Positivity and zeal to succeed will get you all you want. If you have dropped your dream, pick it up. While you’re unsure and afraid, the goal keeps fading in mind, and you may become complacent. You find yourself doing something that frustrates you because you are so scared of being different. Building resilience may be a difficult task, but the reward is fulfilling. Be like an athlete who keeps pressing on, irrespective of the difficulty.

Allow yourself to grow.

Build your resilience and secure your future